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Everything posted by Ted

  1. Hi, Toppack, ASC Service 5 only is shown in my Services list and it's disabled.
  2. Hi, DigDeep, ASC5 is already disabled in Services on my PC, but it still keeps getting rechecked in msconfig. Thanks, anyway.
  3. Hi, Toppack, Same thing happened here. I'm not going to open ASC5 again until it's resolved.
  4. I've posted this message again as I had previously edited my original and I don't think it was being read. ---------------------------------- Just noticed that I only get the ASCTray checked in msconfig after I've used ASC5. If I don't open the programme the box stays unchecked. ======================================= Would it be okay to follow the following advice? The ASC5 Key is there. Go into the Registry (Start, Run, regedit) and under HKEY_CURRENT_USER click on the folders Software, Microsoft, Windows, and Run and delete the keys of the programs you don't want coming up.
  5. I get a "Failed to update files try again later" message every time I try to download that Important Patch. Okay, I managed to get and install the update this morning. Just noticed that I only get the ASCTray checked in msconfig after I've used ASC5. If I don't open the programme the box stays unchecked. ======================================= Would it be okay to follow the following advice? The ASC5 Key is there. Go into the Registry (Start, Run, regedit) and under HKEY_CURRENT_USER click on the folders Software, Microsoft, Windows, and Run and delete the keys of the programs you don't want coming up.
  6. Hi, enoskype, Okay, thanks for that. Kind Regards, Ted. -------------
  7. Hi, All, I have unchecked ASCTray in msconfig > startup and also unchecked Load automatically at Windows Startup and Minimize to System Tray in ASC5 > Settings. However, after bootup ASCTray reappears in msconfig > startup and in Task Manager.
  8. Thanks, A.T. Kind Regards, Ted. -------------
  9. Hi, solbjerg, Glad you liked it and thanks for your feedback. Kind Regards, Ted. ---------
  10. How the Internet Really Started. HOW THE INTERNET STARTED A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM) Well, you might have thought that you knew how the internet started, but here's the TRUE story In ancient Israel, it comes to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot, and Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her - as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?" And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hat the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from over-hearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP). But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham's business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted - for insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say: "Oh Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said: "W need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied' "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO" said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE). And that is how it all began.
  11. FireFox is the best one for me and is the only one that remembers all my passwords without a hitch. After I click to launch it, I go to the toilet, then have a shower and after that it's almost loaded (slight exageration). Actually it usually takes about twenty seconds to launch for a start, then after that, about five seconds. I can live with that. I use Opera for reading my offline web-pages and it loads almost instantaneously. I've also given up on Thunderbird and Windows Live Mail and gone back to good old trusty Outlook Express, the only one with decent stationery support.
  12. While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around,in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entirereturn drive. The more he chided her,the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!"
  13. Hi, solbjerg, Yes, a few people I know have paved their backyards and are now sorry. They miss their little bit of lawn.
  14. Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a truck went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win lottery' 'What's dat' says his mate. 'Send me lawn away to be cut', answers Paddy.
  15. A large brown bear shuffled into the bar and thumped on the counter. Bear: "A large whiskey and.......................................a glass of coke. Barman: "Why the large pause?" Bear: "Don't know, I've had them all my life".
  16. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"
  17. Six people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, five men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to leave, because otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to name that person, until the woman held a very touching speech. She said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she is used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.......
  18. When Love Fades..... Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen. What would you like for dinner my Love? Chicken, beef or lamb? I said "Thank you. I'll have chicken." She replied "You're having soup *******. I was talking to the cat."
  19. An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly. The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night? <><><><><><><>
  20. Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer ."
  21. I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T I used to like Eric.
  22. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
  23. Good one titou56, My daughter is in Montauban, France staying with her daughter who has just produced our second great-grandson. We are looking after their four large Rottweiler dogs on their deer farm just out of town. I can tell you now that they don't line up and wait patiently for their turn at the tree like those well behaved dogs do. However, despite their formidable appearance they are big pussy cats, really.
  24. Paddy answers an advertisement at the employment office in Invercargill. (Invercargill is at the lower end of the South Island in New Zealand). The job is for a photographer's assistant. "You don't need experience" the employment officer says, "All you have to do is check the young ladies in their bikini's closely and make any adjustments you think necessary before they get their photos taken." Paddy gets all excited and gasps: "Yes, yes, I'll take the job!" "Okay, that's fine" says the employment officer, but you'll have to travel to Kaitaia (Kaitaia is at the top end of the north island in New Zealand). "Begorrah" says Paddy, "Why do I have to travel way up there"? "Because that's where the queue starts," replies the employment officer.
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