titou56
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Posts posted by titou56
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http://i48.tinypic.com/20i693.jpg
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short but excellent !
The woman asks her husband:
Darling, with how many women did you sleep?
the man answers :
Only with you darling with the others I remained awakened!
http://smylies.philoo12.net/Gros%20Smileys%201/Gros_Smileys_70.gif
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Hi Solbjerg ;-)
thank you for your delicate attention...
We finally went to the restaurant! hé hé hé... http://smylies.philoo12.net/Gros%20Smileys%202/2%20(86).gif
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Barbecues
The barbecue season is about to begin! To this end, it is fashionable to recall the usual procedure of this summer cooking....
In this business we recognize the talents of a man cooking, a real one. When a man volunteers to do this type of cooking, the following chain of events is activated:
MAN WOMEN
1. The man left the barbecue and charcoal.
2. The woman cleans the grill.
3. The woman goes to the grocery store.
4. The woman goes to the butcher.
5. The woman goes to the baker.
6. The woman prepares the salad and vegetables.
7. The woman prepares the meat for cooking
8. The woman places on a tray with utensils, spices and herbs.
9. The woman brings the clean grill and the tray to the man who is lying next to the grill drinking a beer.
10. The man places the meat on the grill.
11. The woman goes inside to dress the table.
12. The woman checks the cooking vegetables.
13. The woman prepares the dessert.
14. The woman comes outside to tell her husband that the meat is burning.
15. The man retires the meat too cooked from the grid and deliver it to the woman.
16. The woman prepares the plates and brings on the table.
17. The man serves some drink
18. The woman clears the table and prepares the coffee.
19. The woman serves coffee and dessert
20. After the meal, the woman places the table and tablecloth.
21. The woman takes off the dishes and range the kitchen.
22. The man lets the barbecue in place because there still are embers.
23. The man asks the woman if she appreciated not to cook today.
24. And before her dubiously, man concludes that women are never satisfied.
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An heavy one...
Hi friends :wink:
It is ok : here is virus total report :File ours.exe received on 2010.01.31 09:41:31 (UTC) Current status: Result: 0/41 (0%)
Clic on "Lire"
Dialogs : first screen = It does not matter you, the s**t glued on hair when finished to s**t ?
Second = No, It is nature way ! Does not matter...
Third = So much the better !
:mrgreen:
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Ha, Ha, Ha :lol:
It depends.... rigid or folded !
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Statistics of the human body
Statistics of the human body
http://smylies.philoo12.net/Extra-gros%203/emot115.gif
It takes 7 seconds for food to go from your mouth to the stomach.
A human hair can support a weight of 3 kg.
The penis of the average man is 3 times the length of his thumb.
The hip bone is stronger than cement.
The heart of a woman beats faster than a man.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink nearly 2 times more often than men.
The skin of an average human weighs 2 times more than its brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles just to keep equilibrium when you're standing.
Women have already finished reading this message.
Men are still trying to measure their thumbs.
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Test
Hi friends ;-)
Here is a new test :
You are at the wheel of a splendid car and you run at constant speed...
On your right, a gulch as far as the eye can see...
On your left, firefighters' truck which runs at the same speed and in the same direction as you. it is trying to double you.
In front of you, a pig which is bigger than your car.
Behind you, a helicopter which follows you in hedgehopping.
The pig and the helicopter go to the same speed as you.
How do you make to stop ?
Answer in white on white, please make a selection... :
|Go down from the Carousel ! It is more than your age ! |
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New virus !!!
Be carefull IT SEEMS THAT A NEW VIRUS BREAKS!!!
I send you the photography of my mouse to the state where I found it this
morning....
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Serenity
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'
The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says, ' For fast relief.'
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!
Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing!!!
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Doesn't matter
Hi my friend Enoskype ;-)
I often though that the thread became heavy in Gbytes and I would create a new one...
Well, I have to, now http://smylies.philoo12.net/Gros%20Smileys%201/Gros_Smileys_17.gif hum hum...
Best regard
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where
is
gone
mystery locations
thread
?
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Coloured
http://i48.tinypic.com/1zn9xqc.jpg
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black
And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey
And you calling me colored?
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This is LIFE...
http://i49.tinypic.com/16gexat.jpg
http://smylies.philoo12.net/Extra-gros%202/emot66.gif and it takes place in a eye's twinkle...
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beurk
Grandpa Dédé, 80 years old, goes for his annual medical examination with Mamy.
when the doctor enters the room of exam, he says:
« I shall need a sample of urine, a sample of saddles, and of a sample of semen. »
Dédé, being hard of the ear, turns to Mamy and asks:
« what he said ? »
and Mamy shouts him in the ear:
« GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS! »
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fart
HA Ha ha :lol:
Please have a look here :
I like it ! so funny
Best regards
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Hi,
a last minute information: if you wait for the father-Christmas, it will have a small delay...
An imponderable.
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A bear, a lion and a pig meet:
The bear says: " If I growl in the forest, all other animals tremble with fright. "
The lion says: " If I roar in the jungle, all animals run away from fright. "
The pig says : " If I cough only once and the whole planet makes vaccinate. "
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Be careful of titou56!!!
Hi,
This is not "Hoax"
I was victim of a swindle at the store Leclerc
I inform you about it, so that you could be carefull !
Here is how it works:
Two girls approach you while you line up your shopping in your car.
They begin by washing your windshield with a sponge and a product for window panes, their chest emphasized well in their too much gripped haberdasher. It is almost impossible not to pay to it attention.
While you thank them and give them a tip, they refuse it and ask you to drive them simply in another shopping centre.
If you accept, they go up at the back of your car.
On the way, they begin undressing and in to carresser. One of them passes then on the temporary seat and makes you a ******* while other one ......... steals your pack of beer !
Be therefore extremely vigilant! This could also become to you!
They so stole from me a pack of beer last Friday, another one Saturday, twice on Sunday, once again on Monday and again this morning ! !
I'll go back to it, obliged tomorrow: I do not have beer anymore
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Hi Gary, my friend :razz:
Splendid !!!!!!! I hope this one make you smile...
Here is the version of a " bonus " question of chemistry put down to the University of Nanterre - France.
The answer of a student was so crazy as the professor shared it with his colleagues, via Internet, and that's why you have the pleasure of reading it....
Question Bonus: « the Hell is exothermique(1) or endothermique(2)»
(1: evacuate warmth, 2: absorb warmth)
The most part of the students expressed their belief by using the law of Boyle (if a gas dilates gets colder and conversely) or its variants.
However, a student had following answer:
Firstly, we need to know how varies the mass of Hell with time. We need to know which rate souls enter and go out of Hell.
I think that we can take without risk that once entries in Hell, souls will not come out again from it any more. Of blow no soul goes out.
Also for counting among entries of souls in Hell, we must look functioning of different religions which exist all over the world today.
The most part of these religions maintain that if you are not member of their religion, you will go to Hell. As there is more than a religion expressing this rule, and as people do not belong to more than a religion, we can cast that all souls go in Hell...
Now, let us look at the speed of change of volume of Hell because Law of Boyle specifies that « so that pressure and temperature remain identical in Hell, the volume of Hell must dilate proportionately at the entrance of souls ». By following it gives two possibilities:
1) if Hell dilates at a lesser speed than the entrance of souls in Hell, then temperature and the pressure in Hell will augment for eternity until Hell burst.
2) if Hell dilates at the upper speed at the speed of entrance of souls in Hell, then the temperature will diminish until Hell freezes.
To choose which?
If we accept the postulate of my schoolmate Jessica having asserted me lasting my first year of student « It will be cold in Hell before I sleep with you », and there taking into account due to the fact that I slept with her last night, then hypothesis must be true. So, I am sure that Hell is exothermique and have already frozen corollary of this theory it is because as Hell has already frozen, it follows that it accepts no more soul and of blow that it does not exist any more... Leaving so alone Paradise, and proving the existence of one Be divine what explains why, last night, Jessica did not stop shouting " Oh.... my God!.... "
(This student is the only one having acceeded the note 20/20)
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announcement
Small Breton announcement...
(It is necessary to read the text BEFORE seeing the photograph below)
True story (announcement appeared in a Breton newspaper)
Sell Scénic of 2006, blue:
- Only 15 km ,
- Alone the first speed and reverse were used,
- Never of sports behaviour,
- Tyres of origin,
- Brakes of origin,
- Oil and essence of origin,
- First hand,
Cause change of occupation.
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ok ok
Hi Ted ;-)
You are right : shorters are the bests
let me try :
What is the difference between bald one English and bald one Scottish ?
Bald English buys a peruke. Bald Scottish sells his comb.
http://smylies.philoo12.net/Gros%20Smileys%202/Gros_Smileys_132.gif
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:lol: Hi Ted, Hi Itsmejjj :lol:
yes ted "Le Chapeau" is right ! he he he
Ted, Itsmejjj, would you please tell me... about my jokes along in this thread : i don't know, are they choking ? nobody answered... Is my humour correct for here ?
Have a funny day my friends :-D
cheers
HAVE A LAUGH on ME! (1)
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