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HAVE A LAUGH on ME! (1)


itsmejjj
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Hi titou

Ok, bantering is ok too, but it this case I referred to the "music"

The actual act isn't boring at all for the participants.:-)

Cheers

solbjerg

 

Hi Solbjerg :grin:

 

Indeed ? me who thought that Nordic girls were hot ...

 

I think it depends who you play the partition with :lol:!

 

It could seems like a Beethoven one he he :razz:

 

(Phonetic french joke that mean aproximatively "cock in the wind")

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New element

 

A new chemical element to be topped up in the periodical picture of the chemical elements of Mendeleïev:

 

The element 115.

 

NAME: Woman.

 

SYMBOL: WM

 

DISCOVERER: Adam.

 

NUCLEAR MASS: Allowable in 60 kg but isotopes known from 40 to 250 kg.

 

OCCURENCE: Very abounding all over the world.

 

PHYSICAL OWNERSHIP: Between excited for a nothing and freeze without reason.

 

THERMAL CONDUCTIVITY: Weak-willed person especially in lower ends.

 

POWER OF WIDENING: Augment with years. Give in to pressures applied to the sensitive points.

 

MOLECULAR STRUCTURE: Improved on 90/60/90. Exist in USAS under growing form of 60/90/120 and in Nordic countries under "flat" said form of 50/50/50

 

CHEMICAL OWNERSHIP: Very big affinity for gold, silver, platinum and all noble metals. Absorb big quantities of expensive substances. Can blow up spontaneously without warning. Insolvable in liquids but introduces an activity greatly augmented by saturation in alcohol. Very variable reactivity according to the periods of the day. Big aptitude for the changes of mood and for jealousy.

 

COMMON USE: Highly fancy especially in the cars of sports. Powerful cleansing agent. Efficient help for relaxation and relaxation.

 

TEST: Turn to the green so put next to a specimen of better quality.

 

CIRCUMSPECTION Of JOB: Highly dangerous so put between not expert hands. It is illegal to have several specimens, but it is possible to maintain several in different places as long as specimens do not get into contact (risk of explosion)

 

ATTENTION: Certain researchers of South America discovered means to fabricate it artificially, having introduced in general under marks TRAVELO or DRAG QUEEN. Use only the product of origin.

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Man

 

The MAN styles of life seen in different periods of life

 

AGE FAVOURITE DRINK

17 beer

25 whisky

35 vodka

48 double vodka

66 Maalox

 

TECHNICAL AGE OF SEDUCTION

17 my parents left all weekend long.

25 my girlfriend left all weekend long.

35 my fiancée left all weekend long.

48 my wife left all weekend long.

66 my second wife died.

 

AGE FAVOURITE SPORTS

17 sex

25 sex

35 sex

48 sex

66 siesta

 

BEING ON DRUGS AGE

17 marihuana

25 coke

35 'really ' good coke

48 POWER

66 coke, BMW, personal plane

 

AGE DEFINITION OF THE " GOOD PARTY "

17 "tongue"

25 "breakfast"

35 ' " she did not do in the air all my therapy. "

48 " I did not fight with her children. "

66 " I came back home alive "

 

AGE FAVOURITE PLEASURE

17 masturbation

25 to make love in a plane

35 living has three

48 to go out with her in public

66 maidservant in small white apron

 

AGE FAVOURITE DOMESTIC ANIMAL

17 hamster

25 the girlfriend

35 Labrador

48 the children of the first marriage

66 poodle

 

IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED

17 25 years

25 35 years

35 48 years

48 66 years

66 17 years

 

AGE IDEAL DATE

17 3 films of Stephen King has the following or ' the night of the film Gore '

25 " you pay the bill and we go home "

35 " be allowed to make. "

48 " be allowed to make, and cook. "

66 a Night of love, abord the own plane , living in Monaco to play the casino

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Woman

 

The female styles of life seen in different periods of life

 

AGE FAVOURITE DRINK

17 Coca extract with ice

25 white wine

35 red wine

48 Dom Perignon

66 Coffee a blow of pear as shoot-coffee

 

AGE EXCUSES TO REFUSE TO GO OUT WITH SOMEBODY

17 I must wash hair

25 I must wash hair and make curls then

35 I must make a colouring

48 It is necessary to that Jean-Pierre colours me hair

66 It is necessary to that Jean-Pierre colours my peruke

 

AGE FAVOURITE SPORTS

17 shoppings

25 shoppings

35 shoppings

48 shoppings

66 shoppings

 

BEING ON DRUGS AGE

17 shoppings

25 shoppings

35 shoppings

48 shoppings

66 shoppings

 

AGE DEFINITION OF THE " GOOD PARTY "

17 "Burger King"

25 Restorant

35 A diamond

48 A 'big ' diamond

66 a Party television, alone, at the home

 

AGE FAVOURITE PLEASURE

17 strong, nice and dark

25 strong, nice and dark with a lot of money

35 strong, nice and dark with a lot of money and a brain

48 A man still with his hair

66 A man

 

AGE FAVOURITE DOMESTIC ANIMAL

17 Pussycat the cat

25 An ex-friend and Pussycat the cat

35 an Irish setter and Pussycat the cat

48 The children of his first marriage and Pussycat the cat

66 The husband has the retirement which knows itself in taxidermy there, and that seats with straw Pussycat the cat

 

IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED

17 17 years

25 25 years

35 35 years

48 48 years

66 66 years

 

AGE IDEAL DATE

17 he offers to pay

25 he pays

35 he makes the baby-déj the following morning

48 he makes the baby-dej the following morning for the children

66 He again knows how to masticate his breakfast

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Hi, All,

 

No offence intended for anyone at all:

 

A Wee Scottish Tale.

 

A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn.

 

A Gamekeeper shouts,

'Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo ae coo's sheet an pish!'

 

The man replies,

'My Good fellow, I'm from England . Could you repeat that in English for me.'

 

The keeper replies,

 

'I said, use two hands - you spill less that way!!!

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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,

Yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. She sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,

"You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side...

You know what?"

"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck, bugger off."

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good

 

:-P Hi ted :-P

 

He He He... excellent !

 

I just would have a confirmation from the first one... for the translation...

 

'Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo ae coo's sheet an pish!' means 'do not drink this water, is it cows and foo (? ) piss and shit' that's right ?

 

he he he In France we have some jokes with Belgium. I believe everywhere it is the same, do you ?

 

http://i45.tinypic.com/xbcr38.jpg

 

have a nice day ;-)

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Hi there, titou56

 

I'm not Scottish, but I think you're correct with the translation. I reckon "foo" would translate as "full" making the statement read: It's full of cow's sh#t and ......

 

Yes, I believe many nationalities do a bit of good natured slinging off against each other. Kiwis and Aussies are notorious for their banter and neither side ever takes offence, just does their best to go one better next time.

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Hi, titou56,

 

Correct me if I'm wrong on this one:

 

This bloke was telling his mate about his bad day at the races.

"I was standing in the queue to get my ticket" he said "when a gust of wind blew the hat off my head and when I noticed that a horse named "My Hat" was running in the next race I put all my money on it.

"Did the horse win?" asked his mate.

"Nah" said the bloke, "it finished last, a nag called Le Chapeau won by a mile!"

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:lol: Hi Ted, Hi Itsmejjj :lol:

 

yes ted "Le Chapeau" is right ! he he he

 

Ted, Itsmejjj, would you please tell me... about my jokes along in this thread : i don't know, are they choking ? nobody answered... Is my humour correct for here ?

 

Have a funny day my friends :-D

 

cheers

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